by Phil Herndon, Clinical Director of the River Tree Center
Among the most important needs human beings have is the need for safety. Though that word can sometimes be overused in our culture, its importance is impossible to overstate. The need for safety boils down to simply meaning we humans need to know that “someone is looking out for our welfare.”
Fitting in feels safe.
During the planning of the Bay of Pigs invasion in 1961, President Kennedy and his committee moved forward and ordered the invasion despite what was in retrospect an obvious set of data that indicated the invasion was unwise. Though many in the room had grave misgivings about the invasion, members were afraid to speak their concerns and the plan moved forward and ended as an embarrassing defeat.
The phenomenon that occurred in that room is known as “groupthink.”
Groupthink arises out of what can be thought of as peer pressure. In other words groupthink occurs when the culture of the group is such that any opinion or thought that goes against the grain of the prevailing climate of the group is silenced; usually through ostracism, humiliation, or depriving one of baseline public civility.
Conversely, as members continue to fit into the mold of the prescribed group narrative, the members can experience groupthink as safety. In a world that is fractured in more ways that can be counted, being accepted and affirmed for understanding our noble purpose is experienced by some as finally fitting in, being respected, and really mattering to someone.
Why is my loved-one yelling so much?
Family members often wonder what has happened to their loved one who seem to have become irritable or rageful when questioned, defensive, or hostile toward those who ‘don’t get it.” Often, what has happened to these family members is leviathan’s ability to offer safety to members which is in fact a very conditional acceptance, based on the person’s adherence to the group narrative; in other words, “groupthink.”
Diverting from Leviathan’s tenets is often an emotionally dangerous endeavor.
It is common “in the leviathan” to be accused of hating America, being a socialist, or perhaps worst of all “woke,” which in many settings is synonymous with all that is wrong with society If one dares to question leviathan’s prevailing tenets. Therefore, the necessity of providing true safety for those coming out of leviathan is of the utmost importance.
True safety begins with an injured person being given the freedom to speak openly about their experiences. Leaving what was believed to have been a safe place is very scary for those who leave. Debriefing their experiences; the good the bad and the ugly is a very important step toward providing the true safety the person believed themselves to have had before. An environment in which the person lives with consistent acceptance and curiosity creates new brain circuitry through time and settles down that part of the brain that has been traumatized by the punishment, social isolation and embarrassment that many experience as they escape leviathan.
Offering Real Safety
Providing a safe environment for people to heal, to be heard, and to have their hearts attended to is among the core concepts of the gospel message to the church. May we be faithful in providing such environments for those who are living in both the trauma of their leviathan experiences and the shame and embarrassment, and fears of experiencing the same as they “come back home” to the body of Christ. May we truly live out their need for safety, and look out for their welfare as they take their tentative steps toward freedom.